I keep doing this. Its 12am & I have stuff to say...insomniac :(  So alot has happened again in these few days. Its tuesday 19th, nearly wednesday. Last post was four days ago & you are moving so fast that each day is so very different but its so hard to keep up as Im back at work now after my three weeks holiday!! Saturday you were extremely bored & gettin ansy so Lorraine, Joey & Kaylea arranged for you to be at the cafe for 12pm & if people could just show up then was a free for all so you could not feel so cabin fevered inside the ward. I had an ill bug Jasper sleeping thru terrible teething pain, his right top tooth at the back decided to break thru and come most of the way down within two days!! No fun** So i was stuck in with him as Gary was working but all the fam came over. Sunday was he same set up but for half two which was awesome as I finished work at two & was sad I was gonna miss you again if it was at twelve. Lucky me. So many people turned up. All our fam & Char & Alex with Maiyah & Marielle & Adam with Corey. So lovely. All the kids running around wasnt hectic it was animated & happy** Seeing Bets baby Corey & hold Maiyahs hand was just adorable. She is just so in love with her Jaspey boo to & kept squeezing him & if he talks a sentance clearly to her she almost gets annoyed that hes too grown up just like I do haha** She was so happy to see Gary too bless her they have some special little bond those two!! We had to take it in turns to get the seat next to you & it was totes two second rule on that one!! I managed to get a few moments with you :):) Managed to have a giggle & a kiss. Weve moved back to cheeks now just incase half your visitors feel their okay in lip kisses too, uh uh uh!! You are getting frustrated at having to wear your helmet when your out of bed, it is itchy & hard on your scar & makes you hot. I wish we could come up with a solution but for now this is your world & the frustrations are starting to show now. I worry for this, I worry( we all do) about what happens when you start questioning why you?? There is never going to be a logical answer. But on my lonesome visit with you that I was so casually in luck with we spoke about this. I heard a Dr say that after all the stresses you have had in these few years it seems some what that maybe your brain decided for your physical to reboot, restart & re connect. Pretty harsh way in reality but maybe for you words to hold on to. He was upbeat in his delivery of this hard knock approach!! I dont think its fair, none of us do even people who have supported me, my friends, their mums, their friends, they have all said its unfair. So many people know you Carly. So many people know of your journey & are stopping me to tell me how unbelievably brave & strong you are to deal with this all with your huge smile still on your face. Your beauty still radiating.  I fucking love you & am so in awe of you beaut. You have always had an extra quality about u, never really distinct enough to put a name on. Keep shining bright honey, shine bright like a diamond!!*

Back to my visit with you. Saturday evening I broke away from bath & bed time for boo in the hope you would need company & wanna see a make up free greasy me!! I walked in slowly as you were laid down back to me on your left like you have to be. I was going to simply kiss you whilst you slept but your eyes sprang open & you insisted I stayed as you were so bloody bored so was trying to force sleep to get out of boredom. This breaks my heart that I didnt show up sooner, that I cant stay until late as being a night owl Id just sit & be with you if you slept anyhow & be there if you woke. I got you connected with your wifi again so we could perve on you know who* Hes lush by the way & totally not what I expected, a bloody decent looking guy with no weird beard or piercings! Ha, over that thirty mark and your getting normal on us!!! (jokes*) I just sat with you whilst you typed messages & we googled Donald Wilson house

(okay had to pause & put my hands over my ears, couldnt find the remote & brokeback mountain is on & jut witnessed a very graphic scene "prude")

Back to you. Monday you left Worthing hospital early for Donald Wilson house. Its a neourolgical rehabilitation centre on site of St Richards Hospital in Chichester. (Not too far but a little too far if that makes sense, I miss you!!) Lorraine followed you to settle you in. You are on a ward with a quadraplegic lady who is your age. Ive yet to see your room so will detail all that in another post after Ive seen you, its hard to get info of everyone now we all go at spontaneous times. You will be doing intensive therapy sessions here each day & it has a hydro therapy pool which will be great for you to gain great balance & posture babe. Kaylea came & saw you today. She said the centre is really nice. Lorraine has been down with Evelyn all afternoon & she took you outside & smoosh jumped on the tree trunks & enjoyed her time with mama. So precious. Bloody amazing news today too that Roger has decided he will resume custody as it was before & so all of the stresses of court & fears were for nothing, again just silly games. But this blog is for wise words so enough of him. Will update when i see you about what Donald Wilson house is all about honey. Sleep well angel, Love & light xxx